Wiener...Ready For Takeoff!

Wiener...Ready For Takeoff!
Wiener...Ready For Takeoff!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Taiwan.....We Will, We Will ROC You!!!

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. My name is Cheeky Remington, but please call me professor Remington during today's lecture, Taipei 101. This crash course on Taipei, Taiwan includes an exciting recap of my parent's recent week-long visit to this spectacular island nation. We'll be discussing many of the suggested sights, scrumptious snacks, and sometimes stinky smells to scope out should you have the chance to visit Taiwan (aka the ROC, or Republic of China) in the near future.

You should probably take notes people! There could be a pup quiz ;) 

Attention class, attention!!! Our first topic is of course the famous Taipei 101 building. It towers above Taipei with an astonishing 101 floors, and up until 2010 it was the tallest building in the world. Sadly it was surpassed in height by the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, but still holds the record for the fastest ascending elevator, traveling at a blazin' speed of 16.83 m/s, or 1,010 meters per minute. Take a trip up to the top and it's sure to make your ears pop!!!

Taipei 101!

After your dizzying experience at Taipei 101 you'll no doubt be hungry from the adrenaline, so it's highly recommended you stop in at Din Tai Fung, a world famous xia long bao (soup dumplings) institution in Taiwan. They're like eating warm clouds of pork noodle soup all wrapped up in a soft, little bun. Trust me on this one, no matter how hungry you are be sure to give these babies some time to cool. They will literally sear your doggy tongue if you bite into one too soon. One last thing, try and get there early to grab a number. With it's prestigious Michelin Star Rating this place is always packed! 

Heaven in a bamboo steamer!

Rollin' in the deeeeeeeEEEEp!
After a serious carbo-loading session at DTF, it might be a good idea to take a short walk over to the National Sun Yat-Sen Memorial Hall. As you all know from months of careful note-taking this semester, Sun Yat-Sen was a Chinese revolutionary responsible for leading the uprising against communist China, therefore becoming the founding father and first president of the Republic of China (Taiwan). 

Staring Contest....Ready....Set....GO!
National Sun Yat-Sen Memorial Hall
Alright class, my doxie bladder is the size of a shot glass so what do you say we take a quick bathroom break? Don't be late...we're getting to the really good stuff! 

Welcome back! Let's see, where was I?? Oh yes, night markets! As you know they're an absolute must in Taipei, with more than a handful scattered all over the city. What's truly amazing about these markets is that each of them has a unique and tasty selection of Taiwanese street food, many of which can only be found at that particular market! A great example is stinky tofu, a fermented version of the tofu we've all come to love. And when I say fermented I really should say foul! Since the stinkiest tofu is considered the most prized, and normal fermentation can take up to 3 months, this stuff can be quite overwhelming. As part of daddy's usual Bizarre Foods initiation for mommy he decided to indulge her in a bowl of the rancid bean curd. I assure you the taste wasn't that bad, but the sour-feet and rotten-meat odor wafting from her bowl was a bit too much to handle. Having already tried the stuff daddy chose a standard Taiwanese sausage. Lesson learned folks: You can never go wrong with a deep fried wiener :)

Mommy caught a wiff of some stinky tofu!

STINKY STINKY STINKY!!!
Mmmmmm nothing like a bowl full of smelly, rotten tofu! 
Insert any number of inappropriate captions here ;)
I'd like to suckle on that lil' piggy!
The long line is worth the wait for these crispy little meat buns!

Dinner of Champions
After a long day of exploring all that Taipei has to offer, what better way to unwind than to kick up your paws at a relaxing foot massage. A word of warning folks: Taiwanese foot massages are a little higher on the pain scale than the standard Thai foot massages we frequent here at home, but still very much  enjoyable if you can tolerate it. Don't expect to doze off during one of these. The intense pressure point techniques will keep you on your toes!

With a belly full of stinky tofu and your feet "aching" for more adventure, why not check out the beautiful Longshan Temple? There are of course many temples to see in Taipei, but there's something really spiritual about Longshan. You'll have to visit to find out for yourself! 

Longshan Temple 


If you're like my momma, you're probably wondering where all the good shopping is at. Taipei has shopping malls with just about every store you can imagine. If you're looking for a more boutique experience, visit the Ximending District. It's similar to the Harajuku district in Tokyo with countless cute, little shops to get lost in.
Wiener Sighting in Ximending!!!
So before I end today's lecture I have one final recommendation....HOT POT!!! It's an absolute must, especially during the cold months of the year. Basically it's a tasty assortment of veggies, dumplings, and meat you get to throw in an absurdly delicious broth and cook yourself right at your own table. Not only is it yummy, but it's also fun entertainment for the evening.



Alright class, that's all we have time for in this week's lecture on Taipei 101. I hope you learned something, but most importantly I hope you had fun! Also, I expect all you bitches to give me a decent rating on RateYourProfessor.com!!